


I'll Be Your Eyes

by ReleasedFromHisCage



Category: Written In Gray (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best friend as a disembodied all knowing voice, Comfort/Angst, Fear, Gen, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I did my best, I suck at tagging, Mental Anguish, Mentions of Mental Illness, My First Work in This Fandom, POV First Person, friendship fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:13:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24408604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReleasedFromHisCage/pseuds/ReleasedFromHisCage
Summary: "Lawrence, what's in here?" I ask, my hands are shaking as I hold them out. I just want to reach the wall."There's nothing else in here. If there was I'd see it and I'd warn you.""If you can see everything, why can't you just come to me and lead me out?" My hand touches the stone and I let out a relieved exhale. I don't know why because I'm not out of the dark yet but the wall feels safe."I wish that I could but I can't, this is your tunnel. All I can do is be your eyes."//a songfic based on disassociation by Written In Gray
Kudos: 1





	I'll Be Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> I have friends in a band, they aren't big yet but I know they will be and I'm gonna be the first in their ao3 tag.  
> I gotta be. 
> 
> This is a song-fic based on the song Dissociation by Written In Gray,  
> I don't own the song and I definitely do not own the members mentioned. 
> 
> Bold Quotations are the lyrics, these are not mine. 
> 
> Italics w/o quotations are Angus' thoughts or sounds
> 
> Italics with Quotations is dialogue coming from Lawrence. 
> 
> If you don't know who they are, LISTEN TO THEM.

**...**

**"The face of what I see that’s staring back at me**

**I’m frozen by the piercing gazes of reality"**

**...**

_ Drip  _

_ Drip _

_ I’m awake, at least I think I'm awake.  _

__

_ Drip _

__

_ Drip _

_ Where am I? _

I stand up. It’s dark and cold, silence aside from the sound of dripping water. _ It sounds so faint so it must be close by if I can hear it.  _ I hold my hands in front of me and walk until I touch something, it’s stone. There are stone walls so it must be a cave.  _ How the fuck did I get into a fucking cave?  _ _ I have to keep walking, I’m supposed to be searching for a way out. That’s what someone else would do, find a way out. Right. _

I walk along the wall, hoping I’m going in the right direction. Partly hoping I’m alone down here, partly hoping that I’m not. Realistically, there’s nothing here that would hurt me but I have to get out of here. 

It really is pitch black, I don’t see a light showing the way or anything, “ANGUS!” 

“Okay, fuck no. Who else is here?” 

_ “Angus! Can you hear me?” _

“Lawrence?” 

_ “Yes! Follow my voice.” _

“Okay.” I feel relieved, he is safe and I am safe. I turn to face the direction that his voice came from, I feel alright until I realize that to find his voice, I must leave the wall. Hesitation is a strange thing when you don’t care what happens to you, yet you still feel so much fear. I can’t understand this, I can’t understand myself. 

_ “I know you want to stay by that wall, there is another wall about ten feet from you. Just walk to it, follow my voice.”  _

“How can you see down here and not me?”

There is silence for much too long,  _ “It’s complicated, I swear I’ll explain as soon as you find me.” _

"Just.. don't let me get fucked up by something in here. Wait, is there something else in here?" 

_ "Depends on your perspective I guess"  _

Comforting. I shake my head but step away from the wall cautiously. Lawrence is trustworthy; if there is anything here and he can see it, he'll tell me. "He'll tell me." I repeat to myself, my mind is echoing the sound of my own voice. It's distorting it to the point that it sounds like someone else in my head. 

_ He'll tell me  _

__

_ He'll tell me _

I walk forward five steps, Lawrence calls for me to " _ Watch out for that glass!"  _ and I can't see the glass to watch out for it . 

_ "It's about a foot in front of you."  _

"Okay.." 

**…**

**"and in the darkness of feeling lifeless**

**I yearn to find the string that connects what’s really there to me"**

**…**

Sometimes when you're in a pitch-black place for so long, you'll start to see shadows. Figures that are so dark that you can see them, even in the dark. I see them moving out of the corner of my eye, they feel threatening even if they haven't touched me. It's hard to hold focus, it's hard not to freeze in place in the middle of the room. I'm so close to the wall and I just have to reach it. 

"Lawrence, what's in here?" I ask, my hands are shaking as I hold them out. I just want to reach the wall. 

_ "There's nothing else in here. If there was I'd see it and I'd warn you." _

"If you can see everything, why can't you just come to me and lead me out?" My hand touches the stone and I let out a relieved exhale. I don't know why because I'm not out of the dark yet but the wall feels safe. 

_ "I wish that I could but I can't, this is your tunnel. All I can do is be your eyes."  _

"Fucking bullshit is what that is," I say and his laugh echoes in the cave. 

_ "You're right."  _

**…**

**"I learn to survive as I am**

**Falling to the ground**

**we all die in the end"**

**…**

There's one question that Lawrence hasn't answered, how did I get in here? He seems to understand what's going on here more than I do. Like some sort of all-knowing being or some shit and what's with the disembodied voice thing? This whole thing is fucking weird. 

_ "Yeah."  _

"Please get out of my head." 

" _ Sorry"  _

I laugh. This is so dumb, but I keep moving because nothing has happened to me yet. I must be safe-ish in here. I stay by the wall, and follow my best friend's disembodied voice."I'll be okay, Lawrence will warn me and I'll beat a demon's ass. I'll be fine."

It's echoing again.

_ I'll be fine _

__

_ I'll be fine.  _

God if that's my voice, how does anyone listen to me? Ew. 

_ "That's not what your voice sounds like, can you stop being mean to yourself."  _

"No I cannot, you wouldn't notice if you'd get outta my head." 

There's a sigh, not loud but it's there. 

_ "I promise that once you're out of here, I can get out of your head. For now though, can you please stop saying mean things about yourself?"  _

"You softy" 

In response, I hear a quiet sigh and a small  _ "Yeah." _

I don't know how far I've walked, but this tunnel must be really big because my feet are beginning to hurt. 

_ "Don't stop here."  _

"Why not?" 

_ "Just keep walking, this is the darkest part."  _

That's not exactly comforting and it's cryptic, I hope he'll respond to the thought but he doesn't. I suppose that it's a warning. 

_ "Go faster."  _

__

"Why?" 

_ "You need to trust me, go faster." _

Something brushes across my ankle and I decide that I need no more clarification to fucking run. I remove one hand off of the wall and run as fast as I can without removing the other hand. 

"What is in here?"

_ "You."  _

**…**

**"Dissociate**

**Disconnected from**

**the one in me"**

**…**

I run.

The wall scraping the palm of my hand. I keep running, I'm sure there is a reason he's being cryptic but shit. I sure wish he wasn't. 

I run on, my legs burn and I have to wonder why me? What did I do? 

It's so dark, I really wish it wasn't.

I keep running. 

**…**

**"Every bright star**

**Every grain of sand upon the sea**

**See for yourself and for anyone else"**

**…**

"Can you please just tell me how I got here?" I ask him, I'm so tired. I can no longer run. I fall into a crouch and try to catch my breath. I'm so fucking tired. 

_ "I really want to tell you, fuck I really do but I can't because I don't know. No one knows."  _

"No one knows.." I repeat, as my lungs fight for air. No one knows how you are chosen to suffer, you just are...

**…**

**"Am I alone or are you there?**

**The way that I feel**

**Is there room here to heal?**

**Is there anyone who cares?"**

**…**

Is Lawrence even here? I can't see him, somehow his voice never gets closer. Is he just a disembodied voice? Am I fucking hallucinating? 

_ "No, I'm here."  _

"Where?" 

_ "Just keep going."  _

Always forced to fight, always have to keep going. I'm so tired.

I still run though. 

**…**

**"Take this from me**

**Take this from me"**

**…**

My palm stings so intensely that I feel that it's on fire. My legs burn and my lungs feel like they're collapsing but I keep running. 

I don't know how I always keep running but somehow I do. 

_ "You're stronger than you think you are. No one can see their own strength in the dark. You can get out. Just run."  _

**...**

**"I learn to survive as I am**

**Falling to the ground**

**we all die in the end. "**

**…**

_ "Right there! You can rest here."  _

I slow and collapse, I know I can't rest for long and that I must keep going. I lean haphazardly into the cold stone. 

_ "You're so close."  _

"How do you know that?" I ask him; exhausted, scared, and frustrated. 

_ "Because I can see."  _

**…**

**"Lost becomes your mind**

**drifting through I'll die**

**Brace yourself for what is coming true"**

**...**

I can't get up. I'm so tired, if I stand up I'm just gonna crumble. Lawrence's voice sounds scared or more so concerned but regardless, I don't know how much further I can go. 

_ "Angus, please don't stop here."  _

"What's so bad about staying here?" 

_ "Don't you want to see again?"  _

I rest my head against the stone, it's becoming colder in here. I hope this place doesn't get worse when the night comes. "I don't think I ever did." 

There's silence. 

**…**

**"In your mind,**

**Go towards the light**

**Say goodbye."**

**…**

I'm sitting in the dark, can't motivate myself to keep trying. I've run for so long, I don't want to run anymore. 

Lawrence is quiet. He's not good with words, even as an all-knowing entity. 

I really don't want this right now. I close my eyes, I just want to sleep. 

_ "I'll watch over you if you need to rest."  _

"Okay.."

**…**

**"I’m so alone without you**

**Broken, forlorn**

**Every breath I take"**

**…**

I'm woken by a droplet of water landing on my cheek, my hair is damp and I have to put it up. There's something so startling about opening your eyes, only to see darkness as if they're still closed.

"Are you still here?"

_ "Of course I am, doofus."  _

I smile a tired relieved smile. I know he can see it, even if I can't see him.

**...**

**"A new sun will rise we’ll see it through**

**Woven, reborn**

**Every move that I make"**

**...**

I stand with shaky legs, I have to keep moving just a little bit longer. 

_ "You don't need to run right now. You just need to move."  _

"Okay.." I lean into the wall as I walk, my hand is so torn up from before. If I touched it with my palm, I'd probably cry or scream, or whatever. It hurts. 

"You're close"

**…**

**"I learn to survive as I am**

**Falling to the ground**

**We all die in the end"**

**…**

I didn't really notice because it was such a gradual change but the tunnel is not pitch black anymore. Not that I can see but the darkness is less prominent. Less suffocating. 

Lawrence only speaks up to remind me to keep going. That's okay. It's just a bit brighter but I know that means I'm getting closer. 

**…**

**"Wading through the storm**

**Carried by the light so warm"**

**…**

_ "Just a bit further, Angus."  _

"Okay," I say, I'm still sore but I'm moving and the blackness is gradually fading. I think that there will be an exit soon. 

Just like he said, a little bit further. 

**...**

**"Empty and cold my eyes tonight**

**I reach for your hand to keep the fight**

**I won’t take my life"**

**…**

I can see the wounds on my hands now, I'm barely dragging along. My shoulder leaning heavily along the wall. The light is dull but I can see. I can see a slight opening just a few yards away. 

Lawrence is quiet, but he found my way out. Maybe he's out there. 

I reach the light and step through but I don't step out into a field like I imagined I would. I came to in the middle of a crowded room. No one is looking at me, except for Lawrence. 

"You got out!" He says hugging me, his hair tickling my nose. 

"Where was I?" I look at my hands behind his back, the wounds are gone and my legs no longer hurt. 

"Here," he says as he pulls away and touches my temple, "but you were also in here." 

I stare at him blankly, he's being such a weirdo. 

"It's hard to keep moving when you're half in the world and half inside yourself, constantly at war. You won." 

"I won." I repeat to myself, "Nice! Can I go take a nap now?" 

"Yeah, let's go." 

** The End **  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
